Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
