the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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