I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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