great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
