We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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