Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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