I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
