I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
