I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
