i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
