Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
