YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
