Don't you send me to vm
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
