we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
