Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I wear drunk well.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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