There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
