I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
