UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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