drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
