Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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