I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
