I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
