Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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