somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
