I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
