: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
