i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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