Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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