Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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