Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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