My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She's JV to your varsity
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
