Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
