Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
