You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
