Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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