it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
