You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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