he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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