everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
