Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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