We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize