So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
