Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
