Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just tell him i said nine months
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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