Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize