sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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