Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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