I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize