I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize