She's JV to your varsity
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
