I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
