Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You smell like stripper and shame
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
