My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
