She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
3 2 1 whiskey
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
