In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
