it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
