I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
