you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize