Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Randomize