Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
