One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
