I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
