So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
