so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
