Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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