i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
