he puts the penis in happiness.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
